Don’t Judge A Book By It’s Cover

You know how you are not suppose to judge a book by it’s cover, can I tell you a secret it’s actually my favourite way to find a book. I can wonder around Chapters for hours just looking at book cover, never picking them up off the shelves until I have chosen the one that‘s cover art appeal most to me. I have been burned by this before and end up with some terrible books, but I have also found some real jems! I make it a point of taking the exact opposite approach in my life though. Trying not to passing judgment or making assumptions based on first impressions. This weekend I learned an invaluable lesson about judging books by their cover.

I wrote and re-wrote this post al least 5 time, trying to find the right words to explain my community stay. In one word, unforgettable, in two challenging and beautiful, but how so I fit it all in a few paragraphs?? …I stayed with a girl named Thina, a 17 year old with a though exterior and heart of gold. She lives with her older brother and his girlfriend.

As we walked towards the house on Friday afternoon, I was confronted with something I had been struggling with in the past few weeks while doing patient and orphan home visits in other communities. I struggled to see the true vulnerability in the people who had cement walls, furniture and electricity, it was hard for me to see them fitting into Hands at Work’s mandate of reaching the most vulnerable and poorest of the poor! And it had never crossed my mind that I would be staying in a place like that on my community stay. Thina lives in the shell of what used to be her parent’s house. Her mother passed away in 2002, and her father in February of 2009. The front and back door’s were noticeable missing, and the neighbours chicken and goats roam freely thought the house. They have broken widows, no toilet, busted stereo and entertainment equipment and cold bare cement walls. Although it was not in great condition, they still had electricity and I was not sure how I felt about staying in a house that had so many “amenities”, in my mind the purpose of these community stays were an opportunity to see how the most vulnerable live day to day and this didn’t fit my perception of the most vulnerable. But I know better then to questions what God has planned for me, so I just put my trust in him that I was in the right place.

I wanted to ask so many questions but did not want to offend Thina, I kept the conversation light at first in hopes that she would open up once we built more of a relationship. She spoke very little in the beginning mostly one word answers and simple commands like “come with me please” or “go this way“. It was Friday night Thina had some work to do, she waters the community garden at the local clinic a few times a week in exchange for some of the vegetables. So we took the Hippo (a rolling water contraption) which the clinic lets her use for fetching water for the garden, and set off about 10 min or so down a dust dirt road towards one of the communities few working water tanks. As we walked it seemed as though every second person greeted Thina, children would pop up to walk with us for a bit and then trail off, Thina would hold there hand and talk and laugh with them. I had no idea what they were saying but I could tell how much these people respect her and how much love she has for her community. There were 4 people ahead of us for water when we arrive at the water tank, 2 little girl who looked no older then 10 with giant jugs and wheel barrels to cart there water back home, a sweet frail looking Gogo with a little baby on her back and a big barrel to carry on her head and a friend of Thina’s from school. This was quite the place to people watch and I was happy just to observe what was going on around me and chat with Thina’s school friend as we waited. Of course I sick out like a soar thumb in the village, most people who pass by wave or smile, the odd person would holler “ Hello white women”, I would smile and wave back, greeting them with the few SiSwati phrases I tried to learn. It was almost or turn at the tap, and I had notice this man yelling at me from behind the fence that ran along side the water tank, I was trying to ignore him but he was moving closer and closer as the time passes. I just prayed that we would stop yelling, I was around a group of children and old women and his words were not exactly polite. I felt so uncomfortable but had no way of escaping the situation. Thina told me he was “Mad” and just to ignore him. As our Hippo filled with water I moved behind the tank hoping that if I was out of site he would stop, but he just kept yelling. As we put the cap on the Hippo and started back towards the garden I was happy to hear the sounds of that man’s voice disappear. As we walked away I asked Thina how she felt about what had been happening while we were at the tank. She said “ it happens all the time, you learn to ignore them” I was shocked by the comment for two reason, one it was the most she had said to me in the 4hrs since I had met her, and two because I could not imagine ever getting used to being harassed like that on a daily basis, I was there for 10 minutes and could barley stand it. Then a few more of her school friends showed up to walk with us so the subject was quickly dropped and replaced with gossip about the cute boy in there class. We spent the rest of the evening just hanging out, watching a bit of a Nigerian movie called the Widow (Nigerian cinema is not exactly top quality, it’s basically a hand held camera a soap opera story line all strung together with a few cheese effects). When we getting ready for bed and I noticed Thina take out a door plate and door knob from a small box, and she began to screw in into the empty whole on her door. Once we were in bed I asked her what happened to her lock. She told me; “two months ago a relative tried to brake into my room while I was sleep, now he is in jail, I put that on so it looks like my door has a lock” As I lied there in silence not really knowing what to say I could hear screaming and crying from the Widow(they leave the movie on all night so it sounds like people are awake in the house), and it really hit me how physically vulnerable Thina is, every night sleeping alone in a room with a broken lock anything could happen to her. I managed to muster up a few words I can’t remember exactly what I said, and then she said “ Good night”, I reach to turn off the bedroom light and she stopped me. “ I sleep with the lights on” she said in a soft innocent voice. Then she snuggled far down under the covers and drifted off to sleep. I lied in bed staring the ceiling for what felt like hours, I couldn’t stop thinking about this tiny young women sleeping next to me. A million questions were running though my mind, so quickly I could even stop to try to process them. Every aspect of Thina’s life is so much harder then I could have ever imagined!! Getting water, going to the bathroom, going to school , eating, sleeping, all things that I have taken for granted my whole life. And the thing is I thought I new all of this, but to actually experience it along side someone, and knowing you just scratching the surface of what there life is really like is a whole different story. It didn’t matter that her parent’s could have had money and that they left her this house full of thing. None of them would keep her safe at night, put food in her belly, help her with her home work or give her a hug and tell her they love her. They were stupid material goods and I couldn’t believe that I had judged her and countless others based on them, I new better then that! If anything those things add to her vulnerability. Then I remembered that she is the norm in her village, she lives in a country missing almost and entire generation of people, and there are millions of kids out there just like her.

Thina’s courage, discipline, strength and faith is just another reminder of why I am here. It doesn’t matter what I do in the next year whether it’s sitting in an office or working in the field, as long as it is helping kids like her, I will do what ever work needs to be done. I have said it 100 time THIS IS NOT OK!!

God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble

I struggle to get this fist week in South Africa down on paper! So many emotions swirling about in my heart! Overjoyed to be back in a place that I love so much, working along side men and women that I admire and am so proud to call my family. But on the flip side being face to face with the overwhelming brokenness and poverty that is just down the road from our little village is enough to keep me up at night! On Friday we had an informal meeting with all of the volunteers working with hands, as George (CEO of Hands at Work in Africa) shared about him time in Goma last week, my heart began to sick further and further into my chest. It was a painful reminder of why I was called to Africa, but also reassurance that I was in the right place. Hands at Work is not only committed to reaching 100 000 orphans, but 100 000 of the most vulnerable! And reaching them one by one. Building a relationship with them, learning there names, walking along side them , and reassuming them that they are not alone. Being back in Canada it was easy for me to say I know why I am doing this, I am responding to the biblical mandate to care for the orphans and widows, it was an automatic response for me I didn’t have to think about it. My eye’s were re-opened this week to what truly means!!


So what have I been up to? This week was our first week of orientations. Myself and 6 beautiful, open hearted individuals representing 4 countries (US, Canada, England and South Africa) around the world have been busy learning more about the organization and how we will fit in. Only God know’s where we will go next, but it is fun to imagine. Going into this I felt a strong pull to Mozambique, and if anything know that pull is even stronger! But we will have to wait and see!

This Friday is our intakes community stays! We will spend 4 nights in the community living along side a child headed household and being with them in community!


Moving through the next few weeks I pray for grace and a humble heart.

"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble" 1Peter 5:5